What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
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