After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize