RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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