grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
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i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
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Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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