She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
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my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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