I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
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