is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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