i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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