either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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