dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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