On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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