Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize