dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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