when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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