What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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