Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize