I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
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Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
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So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize