It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize