did you get engaged???
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize