the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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