Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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