Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize