just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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