Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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