WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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