I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Randomize