where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
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there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
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I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
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