i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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