I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
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