it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
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