guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Bring me that man meat
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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