I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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