yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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