At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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