I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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