come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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