it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
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I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
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There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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