I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
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It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
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She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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