She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize