Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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