He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
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