dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
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