Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
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So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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