How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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