Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize