So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
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i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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