i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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