I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
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dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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