I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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