I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize